khajidont | MoM IC Contact

I'm sure you'll be a fine warrior. Especially since I also just read in the newspaper that their next step will be banning unflattering button-down shirts that don't fit right and make you look like a 30-year-old.

HEY! My shirts fit fine!

I'm gonna say something really mean about your clothes now just you watch

[...just keep on waiting for that returning text, Kitty, while Jaime desperately tries to think of what Kitty actually wears.]

Yeah, good LUCK. I've got an eye for style, thanks.

[ Not...so...much. When she's wearing what she thinks is stylish, it's generally black-on-black. Often with bellbottoms. Most of the time here, she dresses like a greaser girl, leather jacket and culottes. Or sometimes in poodle skirts, when she's trying to fit in with the nicer sorts of locals. Basically, she looks like someone trying hard to look cool. ]

Plus I don't think you actually know enough about clothes to come up with something scathing.

I am the fashion king. I know enough to know that

[He knows nothing about fashion. That's all excellent fodder, but he can't remember what Kitty's style is.]

Your shoes. They're bad

Oh my God, you're trying. OK, go on, what's bad about a pair of white trainers.

[Is THAT what she wears? Okay, he can work with that.]

Well I mean they're white. That's a bad choice right off the bat cuz they're just going to get dirty and then you've wasted a ton of money on ruined shoes

Oh this is brilliant. It's like watching a little baby that doesn't quite know how to move its arms yet. OK, what's wrong with my leather jacket.

You are SO RUDE I'm going to have to tell everyone how mean you are

Also it's too big

[no it's not yes it is HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT DOES HER LEATHER JACKET LOOK LIKE]

How mean I am! Are you also going to pass on news of your own cruelty? I don't think I'm ever going to recover from these insults. Oh, go on, what's wrong with my make-up.

You're enjoying this way too much

What are you talking about, I'm DEFINITELY crying right now.

GOOD CUZ IT'LL WASH OFF ALL THAT BAD MAKEUP

[Eyeliner??? Does she wear that?? BLUSH???? HOW CAN YOU TELL?????]

AHHH OH MY GOD I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE. I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE YOU. Jaime Reyes, you are PERFECT.

[WAIT, NO, THEY CAN'T END THIS YET. HE WAS THINKING OF A REALLY GOOD ONE.

(No, he wasn't. His idea of insulting a supervillain was to say that she smelled of evil, and immediately doubted himself. End his misery now.)]

Thank you??

No, oh my God, thank YOU. For EXISTING. I'd like to go back in time and see what you were like on the schoolyard. Honestly, how on earth did you survive school with skills like those?

With a best friend whose biceps are about the size of my head

And DE-FI-NITE-LY not with any sort of superpowers of your own.

Yeah you caught me. Whenever people bullied me I just set them on fire and laughed

I knew that much smiling had to be hiding a truly wicked spirit. Though I was ACTUALLY envisioning it more as just being able to charm people into not being cruel.

Oh that sounds a lot nicer. Good imagination. I was just thinking my nickname could be Mad Dog Reyes. Striking fear into the hearts of all those who decide to bully me about my hair and my clothes

Jaime Danger. A truly wicked boy. Who managed to rid himself of wickedness before coming here.

Pshhhh no. My supervillain name is the Counselor. I'm gonna get it tattooed on my knuckles.

You can be the Insulter. Together we'll fight good and talk people to death

The Insulter? That's TERRIBLE. No, I need something much cooler than that.

Also you'd need more knuckles for that tattoo.