[ It is not a strange thing for Jaime to say. Your feelings mattered. They matter. It's not a strange thing for anyone to say, even about Ruka, but it's still strange to hear. It is uncomfortable to hear. It shouldn't be, and she knows it shouldn't be, but... her heart is strange, and weak, and it hurts sometimes just to have it at all.
She doesn't squirm out of his arms, or make any strange expressions for it, but it does leave her silent for a moment too long, distracted until she feels his hand moving over hers, taking her pen— ]
Hey, what—
[ —and drawing something new on the paper. Though it's tempting to fight him for control of the pen, she's held back by her curiosity, her brow furrowed as she looks back up at his face. What's he playing at? It's a quick drawing, so she doesn't have to wait long, but when she sees the paper... ]
... You?
[ It's a rough drawing, but there's no room for mistaking it. Who else would Jaime put there? And there's a dozen cruel little rejections that bubble at the edge of her thoughts — that he wasn't there for that, that he couldn't be (after all, that world had its own Jaime Reyes, someone dear to her for very different reasons, and if this one had been there instead, it wouldn't have been this, not then), that all the caring and the wishing now doesn't change how it went. But... those aren't the things she wants to say. They're not even things she wants to feel. They're all just residual poisons, little habitual sabotages all stirred up rather than let her be made vulnerable by sweet affection.
Besides. He's not trying to change the things that were, anyway. When Ruka looks up from the face on the paper to the one he's wearing, she sees the real message there. He's here now. Things like that won't happen here, because... it's hard to say she matters, but she matters to Jaime, who's leagues better at the whole emotional intelligence thing than most people. Or, she thinks, he just... sees how fragile she is, and knows how to be gentle enough with her.
God. Wasn't she trying to support him this time?
Without a word she leans over, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth — a lingering, sentimental thing. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-01-20 06:48 am (UTC)She doesn't squirm out of his arms, or make any strange expressions for it, but it does leave her silent for a moment too long, distracted until she feels his hand moving over hers, taking her pen— ]
Hey, what—
[ —and drawing something new on the paper. Though it's tempting to fight him for control of the pen, she's held back by her curiosity, her brow furrowed as she looks back up at his face. What's he playing at? It's a quick drawing, so she doesn't have to wait long, but when she sees the paper... ]
... You?
[ It's a rough drawing, but there's no room for mistaking it. Who else would Jaime put there? And there's a dozen cruel little rejections that bubble at the edge of her thoughts — that he wasn't there for that, that he couldn't be (after all, that world had its own Jaime Reyes, someone dear to her for very different reasons, and if this one had been there instead, it wouldn't have been this, not then), that all the caring and the wishing now doesn't change how it went. But... those aren't the things she wants to say. They're not even things she wants to feel. They're all just residual poisons, little habitual sabotages all stirred up rather than let her be made vulnerable by sweet affection.
Besides. He's not trying to change the things that were, anyway. When Ruka looks up from the face on the paper to the one he's wearing, she sees the real message there. He's here now. Things like that won't happen here, because... it's hard to say she matters, but she matters to Jaime, who's leagues better at the whole emotional intelligence thing than most people. Or, she thinks, he just... sees how fragile she is, and knows how to be gentle enough with her.
God. Wasn't she trying to support him this time?
Without a word she leans over, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth — a lingering, sentimental thing. ]
How'd you get to be so sweet, huh?