[ That's a crazy thing to do. That's a crazy thing for anyone to do, and Jaime likes to think that he knows crazy - heck, he's done crazy. You do crazy things like go out against things you'll never win against, or try to forge a life in a place that will never be permanent, or delude yourself into thinking that you're fine when you just got a dump truck of trauma piled on your head, but this isn't any of those things. This is identity fraud. Only the identity who he stole was his own - but not his own.
For a moment, Jaime entertains the idea of a different version of him who swoops in, pretends like everything's the same, like he knows everyone and can maintain all of the same responsibilities. He feels very resentful towards that hypothetical version of him for a moment. It's more than crazy. It's stupid. It's crass. And... ]
That's cruel, [ Jaime says softly. ] Even if he didn't think that's what it was. That's cruel.
[ Not only to be forgotten, but to be picked up again as though she's a job at the grocery store, as though she's a thing, not a person, as though nothing that came before him had meant anything, had their own lives, their own feelings. ]
You deserved better. Everyone in his life did. You can't just...
[ He shakes his head. Squeezes her hand in his. It's awful, but it makes sense. The more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes, the more explains about her. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-11-19 02:36 am (UTC)[ That's a crazy thing to do. That's a crazy thing for anyone to do, and Jaime likes to think that he knows crazy - heck, he's done crazy. You do crazy things like go out against things you'll never win against, or try to forge a life in a place that will never be permanent, or delude yourself into thinking that you're fine when you just got a dump truck of trauma piled on your head, but this isn't any of those things. This is identity fraud. Only the identity who he stole was his own - but not his own.
For a moment, Jaime entertains the idea of a different version of him who swoops in, pretends like everything's the same, like he knows everyone and can maintain all of the same responsibilities. He feels very resentful towards that hypothetical version of him for a moment. It's more than crazy. It's stupid. It's crass. And... ]
That's cruel, [ Jaime says softly. ] Even if he didn't think that's what it was. That's cruel.
[ Not only to be forgotten, but to be picked up again as though she's a job at the grocery store, as though she's a thing, not a person, as though nothing that came before him had meant anything, had their own lives, their own feelings. ]
You deserved better. Everyone in his life did. You can't just...
[ He shakes his head. Squeezes her hand in his. It's awful, but it makes sense. The more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes, the more explains about her. ]
But I guess he did. How did you find out?