khajidont | MoM IC Contact: TAKE TWO

Well it's a picture of a smiley face that counts as an emo-something

This your way of telling me you've been practicing on your vespa?

Either way will be correct I think
(。-`ω-)
we call these kaomoji though
that one is sassan

but sort of yes
kanedasan showed me the first time, but he's not here, and i'm alone with the keys
possibly not alone if you have the time and energy to chaperone me

[who the heck is sassan]

Ken when it comes to you and that thing I've always got time to chaperone you

You're at home?

That's what I thought. I figured Kanedasans told you about it
Yeah I'm home right now, I was thinking I wanted to ride it around a bit at my school's parking lot since it's empty

OK

I'll meet you there and we'll wheel it over there together

[And have a talk about it, because hoo boy, Jaime is not comfortable with anything beyond a parking lot.]

I'll be out front

Thanks Jaimesan

Ok

[Jaime gets there quickly, and if his speed didn't tip Ken off as to his method of getting there, the fact that he seems to simply materialize, strolling out of a one-way alley is a big enough hint. Despite the nature of his last post, Jaime's looked a lot worse. He looked worse pretty darn recently, in fact, after the whole Khaji mess. He doesn't look great - he looks tired, like he hasn't slept for a while, or maybe he was just working too hard - but he's not about to keel over and die anytime soon.

After a while, you get a little numb. You keep on keeping on, and suddenly, the absences that used to grate become normal. Wally's absence just has to become normal too. In the meantime, he has to appreciate what he has, as difficult as that is to internalize as opposed to intellectualize, and one of the people he needs to cherish is Ken.

Who knows when he'll be gone next, after all? Jaime has his suspicions that it'll be soon, but he doesn't dare say so out loud, like it'll suddenly jinx everything if he does.]

Hey, Ken. Let's see this thing you've got.

[Ken's already by the vespa when Jaime arrives, the bright orange bike parked by the curve outside his house. Ken's just big enough to drive it if it wanted to. He sits sideways on the seat, white helmet resting on his lap, and he looks up quietly as his friend approaches.

Wally wasn't someone he knew well. He can understand the loss because every imPort understands this sort of loss after a while, but for Ken, his last major one was Minato weeks ago. He never broke down over that one; he wouldn't consider himself numb to the sadness, but it doesn't gouge a hole in him as much as it used to. He just smiles at Jaime, who is someone he still has left, genuinely relieved that they're still able to meet up like this.]

Hi Jaime-san. Crazy present, don't you think?

Oh, I sure do.

[It's said mildly enough, and there's no hint that he's being anything but quietly affable, but Jaime means it whole-heartedly. It is a completely insane gift to get for a child, but like he'd told Kaneda, he knows better than to argue with him over it when he's got his mind set. All he can do is damage control. Jaime walks up to it, surveying it, making sure everything's in order.

It is, of course, because even if mechanic work is Jaime's thing, Kaneda has a greater understanding than them about them. Go figure, right?]

I've actually been meaning to talk to you about it.

[Ken grimaces at that and nods, patting the handlebar of the bike.] I figured. I haven't ridden it around, I promise. But before that...

[And here Ken gets to his feet, raising both his arms toward Jaime.

Come give him a hug bro]

[And even after an emotionally draining day, Jaime can't resist that. Ken's got Jaime wrapped around his little finger. It might be a problem some other day, but right now? A hug is more than welcome.

And if Jaime hugs Ken a little more tightly than usual, as if reaffirming that Ken is still here, won't just vanish in his arms... maybe Ken won't notice. At least, he won't say anything. To tell the truth, after everyone else who had arrived around the same time as Ken and arrived just a short time ago, he's steeling himself for the day he wakes up, and Ken's gone. Maybe he'd find out himself. Maybe he'd open up a text, and it would be Kaneda, telling him short and sweet that the kid's gone, or maybe asking him to find him, like he had promised -- but there's one place where Jaime can't follow anyone, and that's coming from a guy who can fly into space.

In a way, Jaime hopes that day comes someday, if they never find out the Porter. That way, it will never be Ken losing him, as he had lost Shinji and Minato before him. If one of them has to go before the other, it should be Ken, as painful as that sounds.

For now, though, Ken's here and whole, and Jaime gives him a good squeeze.]

S'good to see you too, kiddo.

[Ken doesn't say a word. He notices the difference in Jaime's embrace today. He'd even anticipated it and had hoped for it, that if he called Jaime out like this where nobody else was watching, his friend would let him be privy to this small display of sadness. And in return Ken shows his too, in the way his hands curl in the fabric of Jaime's shirt and he holds him as close as he can, holding on tightly.

Ken dislikes loss. It frightens him, in fact, and some nights he lies awake dreading sleep for fear of waking up to discover all his loved ones gone. He lies awake wondering if there was anything he missed saying that day, and he lies awake trembling with the realization that he'll never be able to say everything he wants. He's afraid that one day he'll knock on the door of Heropa 15 and not recognize anybody, just as he was surprised by Kareen Vorbarra when he visited De Chima to clean up after Akihiko and Shinjiro and she opened the door.

He buries his face in Jaime's shoulder and breathes slowly, focusing on his presence.]

Hey, Jaime-san.

[It's almost a relief that Ken hugs him back just as tightly. It's reassuring, but more than that, it makes him feel as though Ken's getting the messages that Jaime doesn't say every day -- or very much at all, really. Messages that he had only told the others once, if at all. It's little stuff. Like, I'm glad that I've met you, or I feel better because of you, or even the quiet, futile, please don't go.

There never seemed to be much of a point of saying any of that out loud, not when they couldn't change anything, but they can show it in little ways too.]

Hey to you too. [But sometimes, you can say what you mean. Maybe he even should, more often than he does. It's hard to say, though, because saying these things means acknowledging that one day, all of this can end -- that one day, all of this will end.] I tell you that I'm glad you're still kicking around lately?

[In return, Ken gives him a quiet laugh, squeezing him one more time before pulling back and grinning up at him.] You don't have to say it out loud for me to know it, but I appreciate hearing it all the same, Jaime-san.

[Ken didn't say it in those words very often, either. He tried to show his appreciation as much as possible, but he was almost always the one to choose silence over speaking painful truths if the pain would befall someone else. If he were really honest, all the time, he would grasp on to anybody he can and beg them not to leave him, but everyone knew that. Most people he knew felt the same way; it didn't need to hang over them all the time. But times like this, the sincerity was comforting too.]

I'm glad you're here too.

Sometimes we should say stuff out loud.

[He could say a lot in a letter he'd leave to people if he ever gets ported out, like Wally did to him, but when he thinks about it, he doesn't want that to be the first and only time he expresses his feelings. There's a certain sort of emptiness to receiving a letter like that, to looking at a video recorded by Armin (I always loved you) and realizing that you were trapped, that you couldn't say anything back, you couldn't say you're important to me too.

They knew. But that doesn't mean enough when he can't say it back. Saying things out loud... that's something to work on. You live a life as transitory as theirs, and you learn that regret just isn't worth it.]

Anyway... let's take a look at this present of yours.

[Did Kaneda look it over for safety features? Probably. As always, Jaime's generally the least talented person in the room, and while he dedicates every day of his life to learning about mechanics, he just doesn't have the natural touch of a born biker like Kaneda. But heck, Jaime's going to look it over anyway.]

Sure. I brought it around.

[These Nonah townhouses lack garages and driveways, but they have decent backyards. Ken's bike has been kept in the shed there as a makeshift garage, but right now it's sitting on the curb in the shade of a tree. It's very orange, and Kaneda had painted on it a design of a dog.]

I don't really... need it? Because I can just jump around. But Kaneda-san got it for me, so I don't want to just not use it.

[Jaime looks down at it dubiously.]y

Well, first things first -- helmet. I know you don't wear one while you jump around, but you need to wear one if you're going to be riding on this. Padding too. I mean... [Jaime looks over at Ken with a shrug.] Honestly, I think it's about ten times safer for you to jump around than it is for you to drive this thing until you get a little older, but if you're gonna ride it, you gotta ride it right. What were you thinking about doing with it, anyway?

You know, I don't know. I wasn't planning on anything, to be honest.

[He's starting to think he really just has too many things he can't do anything about, even if he wanted to.]

I actually don't even like vehicles. I just thought I'd do a lap or something in a parking lot so it doesn't just go to waste.

Oh. Well, as long as that's what you stick to, I guess that's not so bad. But you'll still wear a helmet, right?

[He's not budging on that one thing... but he can forgo the rest of the padding if Ken's not going to be driving it in the road.]

We can take it to an empty parking lot and take it for a whirl there. Maybe your school's parking lot? It's close-by, and nobody'll be there.

That's what I was thinking. And yeah, there's a helmet somewhere, too. Hold on--

[And Ken makes his way back to the house! But not the front door, because he doesn't feel like bothering with it. Instead he walks around to one side of the house and jumps to reach his own bedroom window -- on the second floor, kept open for bird guests like Miles -- and crawls in, coming out in less than a minute with a white helmet, once again through the window.]

There.

Too cool for the front door now, huh? [Jaime jokes, leaning down to ruffle Ken's hair, likely messing up that thick mess of curls and flyaways. It's a little alarming to see how Ken jumps around on a regular basis, but there's something terribly familiar about it too. Ken wouldn't be so out of place at the Tower, he realizes; in fact, he'd probably keep the Titans in line.]

You're, like, two steps away from becoming a superhero yourself. You'd just need a goofy mask.

Back home I actually had a plastic mask from the summer festival... Junpei-san once photo-bashed it over my school ID photo and put it on our SNS.

[He realizes the moment he says it that that might sound like gibberish to Jaime, but he waves it off and instead throws out his arm to wrap it around Jaime's middle. He doesn't mind the hair ruffles. He leans on him, and the gesture is so casual, so different from how he screamed away from his shoulder bump a year ago.]

Maybe I can get a mask here too.

MoM IC Contact: TAKE TWO

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