khajidont | MoM IC Contact

Why?

Not buying it dude. But I'm glad you're feeling good enough for roombas

the dude everyone was freaking out over gave me his

[You know, Jaime, the murderous ex-boyfriend of one of your friends]

wally brought me food [It's probably as close as he'll get to admitting something was indeed wrong]

[For a second, he just smiles down at his phone, relieved to hear that however their talk went, Wally evidently brought over an olive branch.]

That was nice of him. He's a good guy

[Maybe he'll check on Wally later, too. He can't be having a good time of it either.]

Wait you don't mean the one on the network? The one Skye was warning everyone about?

hes family of course hes a good guy

[It was less the food and more Bart finally having an interaction with one of his teammates that wasn't a dig for more information. .... But the food definitely helped.]

uh if she was the one who said something about him being a psychopath then yeah
he was pretty crash!!!

BART

did you consider for maybe two seconds that you should pay attention to the warning???

[Good lord, he's patrolling Skye's hotel room because she doesn't feel safe in her room anymore, and Bart just whizzes over to meet the guy?]

I know her. If she says he's trouble he's trouble trust me

[Jaime you're talking to the guy that befriended the young version of his conqueror]

hey nothing to worry about blue its totally crash he just dropped them off at my house i never met him

Oh good. He just knows where you live. That makes me feel so much better

[...Jaime he is your neighbour you just don't realize it.]

Not that he's going to try anything on a random (probably) but be careful

[Don't ask him not to worry, Bart. Worrying is his permanent state of being.]

hey i handled reach controlled alternate you for a whole minute in a fight i can totally handle this guy

[Because that's supposed to make people feel better]

fine fine ill be careful

do you still want the roomba though

[And attached is probably the most ridiculous thing Jaime's seen since the crow debacle.]

[Well, even if Bart doesn't know how to make him feel better, he knows how to shut him up! Good job, buddy. One of these days, he's going to sit down with the Scarab and make it tell him everything and it's going to be terrible.]

Hey minimized contact with murderous psychopaths is all I'm asking

[On a slightly lighter note, he feels as if he should refuse the roomba on principle, out of some kind of weird solidarity with Skye.

But look at it. It's ridiculous. He loves it already. It's not the roomba's fault. If he got the roomba, he could probably name it, which would effectively tie all its association with Skye's threat-happy ex. This logic makes perfect sense.]

...yes. I still want the roomba

[s c o r e Bart knew he wouldn't be able to resist the roomba]

crash knew you would hermano ill bring it over later

but dude pretty sure contact with murderous psychopaths is part of the superhero thing

Thanks

Hey I said minimized contact not no contact. We step in when they you know
Start acting on the murderous part of the murderous psychopath thing

yeah never got that makes more sense to step in before the murder happens but hey when in the past act like the past ill back off

[Spoiler: he won't.]

oh uh
still up for that flyrun? i know it was a while ago but hey 100% not tired and reeeaaaaally getting bored of just sitting around florida w/nothing to do

Edited 2014-09-13 06:07 (UTC)

Yeah sure. When?

now five minutes from now ten minutes from now fifteen minutes from now duuuuude
im not going to school and theres no team or league or flash to help out i have time to kill every day

[... oh right]

except fri sat &sun 5 to 10

[It's a mystery in and of itself how Bart's managed to actually keep his job this entire time.]

If you're so bored you could always give school a shot

[Okay, he's teasing. He knows there's a few teens around ducking school, and considering that they don't plan on being here for the long-term, he can't blame them.

It does mean, however, that between school and work and his really important work, he's not got much time on his hands.]

I'm usually only free during the evenings but hey I'm free tonight. You done much traveling around yet?

pass
never stepped foot in a school in 13 years hermano not gonna start now

[He's a horrible delinquent Jaime, teach him the ways of being a responsible teenager.]

no just east coast and utah but dude i am 100% free tonight

Hey you might like it! You might even learn a thing or two. They even have spanish class and cooking class

[HINT HINT, BART.]

Okay well I haven't checked out this world's version of Texas yet. Want to come check it out with me? We can get burgers. They can't make burgers here. They're tragic

[(The burgers are okay, but they're not his dad's. Clearly this means it's a regional problem.)]

hey theres nothing wrong with my spanish knowledge ive picked up a lot chillaxin with you back home its mas bonuo

wait

muchas bueno!!

[no that still looks wrong OH WELL]

totally. havent had a good burger in ages but dude request
if were going food hunting were going chicken whizee replacement hunting bc i refuse to believe this world is moded enough that it doesnt even have a substitute

No that’s
Thats still wrong bart

We don’t have chicken whizzees but sure we can search

[As far as Jaime’s concerned, Bart’s probably caught enough flak by now. He has an absurd amount of people flooding into Heropa from his universe, and there’s likely more to come - which would be a good thing if Bart’s whole future gig didn’t throw a wrench in everyone’s plans. Jaime would be jealous of having so many friends and allies around if not for how it seems to have made things more complicated for Bart instead of actually helping the guy adjust.

So today, the plan is simple: no future talk, no alternate universe talk, just a little cross-country trip and an opportunity to hunt down some junk food. Bart could probably use something that’s more of a hang-out than it is cape business or future-past-future business.

(Does Bart even have friends who aren’t capes?)

Either way, they have to start in costume, and out of deference for Bart’s possible secret ID, texts him to meet at a park just a few blocks away from Heropa’s housing. He’s already fully suited up by the time Bart arrives, a map of this universe's United States streaming from his fingers, just to check whether or not anything significant has changed.]

[Not for the first time, Bart had been about to respond before figuring that, by the time he actually typed out the text at a speed the keys would still register, hit send, and waiting for the signal to actually get to Jaime, he could definitely be dressed and out the door and running to the park.

So, that's exactly what he does.

The Impulse costume is easy enough to get in and out of - and he definitely takes advantage of his vibrating technique to save exactly half a second of trying to get the speedster one piece on - so he grins to himself as he snaps his goggles down and tears through his house and out the door, hitting the street with a little crack that rocks the cars he passes and kicks up a gust of wind. Totally faster.

Even if Jaime's still there first if just because while Bart has and address, that doesn't mean he even remotely knows where he's going the first two dozen tries.]

Okay wait, wait, wait- [He's coming to a sudden stop at Jaime's side, leaning in and squinting at the map even if he's not actually reading it] -this world doesn't have Chicken Whizees? Or your world doesn't have Chicken Whizees because if that's true, amigo, you are missing out on the single most crashin' deep fried chicken experience.

[It's a testament to how accustomed he's become to having speedsters around that he hardly bats an eye when he finds himself in sudden, rapidly talking company, and falls right into conversation like they had been talking in person all along.]

It's just deep fried chicken? [He waves one hand at the map, enlarging Texas enough to take a look at all the roadways crisscrossing its surface. It looks more or less the same, albeit with different street names.] Like KFC, you mean? 'Cause we've got that, and so does this world. Or universe, I guess. I keep on mixing up my alternate-whatever terminologies.

[Hey, Bart appreciates that Jaime's used to it. It makes it feel more natural, makes it easier for him to use his powers as he wants. Which, to someone who spent so long living with them suppressed, means a lot]

Just deep fried chicken?! [GASP] If it was just deep fried chicken it wouldn't be such a big deal. The whole appeal is the mystery of it, her-man-o. No one knows what a Chicken Whizee really is.

So they're like, chicken-y hot dogs. Got it.

[Mystery meat. They're probably awful for you, but everyone eats it anyway. He joins his fingers together with a quiet click and closes up the map.]

Anyway, let's get going before everything closes. We'll stock up on food and take a look around. [He pushes off the ground, wings springing out from his suit.] You ready?

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hope you don't mind myskipping ahead a bit!